Bad Life?


Do I have a bad life?
I think it would be selfish if I think it, yes I may be sick but I have caring parents, I can get anything I want and can do things I like
Should I compare myself with poor people, suppressed people or the handicapped?
I don't live in a war zone, I don't get raped or discriminated for any reason so I can't say that I have a bad life because those things never occurred or will occur to me
Should I talk about the past, that I got bullied and can say that it made my life bad, I think not
Of course it stays with you that you get accused of things you haven't done and that they hurt you but still it made me the person I am today and I bet many more people got bullied and are happy today so what could it be
Could it be a lost love, a person you know that is perfect for you and you need to let this person go because you're far away and you need to start a new life again, I think not
I've always been alone so if I'm alone again that's the way it is and as long as she is happy it's ok for me
I need to be alone, I don't want or need a new person for me because what I wanted to have is gone now so I don't want anyone else for me
You know what I think is so bad in my life?
Life ain't fair, you do your best to be a good person in the eyes of everybody but still they treat you like shit
They don't hit you or kick you, no, they hurt you on the inside trying to make you feel insecure, that is what makes my life so bad
But when your life ends than you see that it was supposed to be this way and it shaped you to the person you are and makes you happy it was your life

I'm just 19 and the end is coming

why isn't it making me happy now ?


M