No Home.


Walking around all day in this city looking for a place to stay, this is even harder than it was in Russia, but I know I can't stay in this city for a long time because I will go to my university in a short period of time so I decided to make it a very short stay because I will go there tonight, I'm in the trainstation at the moment btw, they got free WiFi there so I am able to post a little something and I would feel more like a jerk if I didn't post anything after what you've posted because it was sweet :)

I'm not as strong as you might think, that I'm not crying doesn't mean that I am very hurt on the inside, believe me that I am hurt but I know my mother is hurt too, showing your child the door is something that breaks a mothers heart but I know she had no choice.
Crying doesn't change a thing about the situation I am in now and I need to take care of myself for a little while because she hasn't tried to contact me and offered help, but she can think the same as I am thinking, that I should call first and say that I am sorry before she gives help, but I am not going to call her, sometimes you just have to let go off it, of course I will contact her sooner or later but not yet, I can't do it now, I need to give her some rest and I need to get at peace with it.

I didn't liked it that you cried, you shouldn't cry for me anymore and I remember it very well that you love me, I won't forget it that soon and to me you still are special, you can't deny it..

I don't know what will await me in Maastricht, I love the city and it has some nice things there but I wouldn't like it if I needed to use help from the Salvation Army, it isn't for me, at least some days I can stay in a hotel there because I have enough money but I will search every day for a place I can stay till university begins and I will try to get my treatments restarted but I don't know how to get it done with my insurance agency so till than life is a bit uncertain and scary, like it was the past 2 months, at least I can speak my own language and it feels a bit more like ''Home'' even tough I will be again far from Home

Remember that I Love You too.

M