Reality



I was talking to this idiot the other day and as he looked back from the mirror (so I'm talking about me) I realized I was right about one thing. There is an answer... and the answer is being with you. I love you for better or for worse, this time we that we have, this can be part of the better part, because we'll be together and that way everything even this is better... 


My life could have been perfect by now, and it is perfect at this very moment, if I could spend every moment with you and even if the time I have left is limited, I'd still be the happiest person I could ever be, but unfortunately I have to live with this cancer inside me and who is there to blame? I am so mad at life for how it threatened me all my life and that it didn't give me what I could expect from it but what will it change? should I get mad at everyone in the world because I have this for no reason, no I can't do that, it is not fair to feel this way but I can't blame someone else for it, I have to live with it even if it is just for a short while that I may have left, but I hope I will get better sooner or later
But if in case I die, I don't want you to look for me, I don't want you to visit my funeral or will search for my grave, I want you to live your life to the fullest and grow up to become a successful young woman.


Of course I am more than angry like I just said, but who should I be angry at, everybody? or maybe God?
I don't think it would be fair if I should be mad at them, I won't and can't blame anyone for what is inside me, not the air, not the people around me, nobody, and I think it would be very selfish if I take out my own emotions on other people, I think the problem that I have now, well.. It might have an answer.. In the shape of a poem, like in the old days.. 


Have I ever mentioned to you how much I like you?
Well, I mean, I don't mean love, I love you, you know that, do you?
But I like you a lot too, I'm in like with you
It's hard to listen to your heart beat, when it is far away from mine, where I wish it was close to me all the night
Pounding in my shattered heart kept in a box from steel and stones, where the little pieces are as one heart again
The box that I won't break open no more, not to walk or not even dare to climb
It's hard to realize that you have to give up the fight and sometimes in our case, That just isn't right
So somethings you've always want but never could have, will always remain broken in my deep dark mind
Tonight it is raining like it has never done before, raining through the streets, raining in my eyes
I'm not asking for your life or for something that you can't give, I just hope you give me another chance in the future, I just want a new chance to Live.


A little dark I know, but I hope you liked it, I made it for you and sorry again for the lack of inspiration.




M