The prompt for this week's Gallery is "Something I am Proud Of".
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Instead of being witty or clever I am going to post THE FIRST thing that IMMEDIATELY sprung to mind.
I was SCARED of labour - I mean REALLY scared.... It has a name and it is tokophobia. I had it so bad I would not let myself get pregnant.
In my old jobs when I was in my 20s, when talking to a pregnant lady, even if she was only 4 months pregnant I would ask her, aren't you worried about labour and I'd be astounded if she wasn't - I couldn't envisage that you may get scared in week 30 something - to me, you should feel scared from the moment of conception or in my case WELL before.....
And I often spoke to pregnant ladies - after all I was in the HR Department and wrote The Working Family Guide - how ironic.
Myself and hubby have been together since 1988..... yes 23 long years and if it wasn't for this fear we could have had babies years ago.
BUT I had a astrological reading a few short years ago and the Brahmin who did it knew that I did not have kids and he said if you do not fall pregnant before November this year, you will have to wait a year.
EVEN though he said that, I did not start trying when I got back from the yoga festival. We started the following year April 2009 and I KNEW that it would take 5 or 6 months due to his comment and it did.
He'd never met me, I'd been married for years and yet he knew I did not yet have children, so as irrational and unhelpful as my fear was, it was written in the stars so I will not berate myself for it.
What I will say though is that I am proud, I am REALLY proud that I got over this fear and got pregnant and didn't even feel scared as the labour loomed nearer, and I ended up having what I feared the most a C section (I am even more terrified of needles and that meant having a spinal block injection in the spine).
So this photo reminds me that the SOMETHING I have to be proud of is ME getting through labour, and look how very happy I am about it:
|My beautiful Aaron is the result xxx|
Bye for now,