Well, I am not like you. I am not excited.
Let me tell you why.
I got made redundant on 5th July. I then ducked off to Ireland with Aaron for 10 days. I'd not had any annual leave since December and boy did I need that break. I'd actually booked flights to go in May, but THE DAY we were due to fly was THE DAY we went into administration. Suffice to say I did not go in May, and lost the price of my flight, hence I then went at the first opportunity.
I then had to go to Ireland again in August for a large family wedding; me and Aaron went for 11 days.
In and around those Ireland trips me and Aaron have gone on LOTS of day trips with his cousins.
Even tonight I write this, tired, after spending the afternoon taking 4 children swimming.
Their mum is a busy Police Officer, even more so because of the Olympics, followed by Paralympics, so I kind of adopted them for the Summer. They kind of adopted Aaron as their little brother.
Tonight when I left Grandmas, where they have stayed for the 6 weeks, they all hugged me and kissed me and thanked me for making it a memorable Summer.
They have become my gang the last few weeks.
No I am not happy they are going back to school.
I am totally bereft.
I write this post with a very heavy heart, and heavy eyes laden with tears, with a huge lump in my throat.
The youngest today kept pointing out the obvious which was really winding me up, so we even made a song out of that:
"You make me want to shout, when you point the obvious out!".
Everything was a game, or a song, or an adventure.
For the last few weeks I have been carefree. I have been the eldest in a gang of 5; me as the eldest, Aaron as the youngest.
I have enjoyed it.
Autumn feels like it is looming over me like a large giant, and to be honest I want to tell Autumn to get lost.
For the first time since April, I feel feelings that have a similar "note" and tone to the feelings I experienced during PND.
I so don't want to go back there.
I have to hope that fate sends me a job.
I need right now to be distracted.
What's the female version of Peter Pan?
That's been me.
KidsI know you'll never read this but I am missing you all already. I know you are looking forward to going back to school; the excitement of seeing friends that you couldn't meet up with from Grandma's.I will make my heavy heart lighter by concentrating on the fun I know you'll have at school.I know I made your Summer memorable, but rest assured you had the same effect on me.Love you,Auntie xxx