Don't Know The Answers

I oscilate between holding onto social media so tightly that either it strangles me or I strangle it, to the other end of the spectrum where I'd love to close my blog and my Twitter account...

I have been blogging since 13th September 2008 and yet I've never really got into a groove so perhaps I should give up the ghost.  I think in the blogging world I am just a lonely voice that echoes in a cavernous interweb, more emphasis on the web and less on the inter.

Social media is an escape for me, yet I don't enjoy it anymore. In fact I find it painful. Particularly in the past 24 hours.

Anyway enough indulgent introspection, Aaron and I were out this morning.  On the way home on the bus he was being naughty, or rather a typical 2.5 year old, and I was losing the will to live, with the amount of different seats he wanted to sit on*, so I day dreamed for a second, to grab my sanity and he chose that moment to chuck a big wet lump of chewing gum at an elderly couple.  I am convinced some old people regress to kids, as they threw it back at him... When I saw it nearly stick to his jeans on the seat I gave them what for and they looked like they knew they'd overstepped the mark. They tried to insinuate it was his to which I reminded them 2 year olds don't chew gum. Honestly. Such a shame as we'd encountered nothing but wonderful people all morning.

Anyway back to the blog... I don't know what to do with it but I just wish I could turn the clock back to the days when I had some semblance of an online voice...  I think when I just talked to myself at Liska Life (blogged like nobody was reading) I was happier.  You know like how you have more fun when you dance like nobody is watching - such a shame we often need alcohol to do that.  Aaron's asleep now or I would put some music on and blast, and dance!

I used to enjoy listening to the radio, but they spend the whole time benefits bashing now, and it is not funny or interesting anymore - maybe I should stop listening to call-in chat shows and find a good chart music radio channel!

I don't know who I am anymore and I am at the edge of either sinking or swimming.  Flying is not on the cards at present.

Anyway, perhaps something will happen that will lift my spirits, but for today I am wearing sack cloth and ashes and looking at my boots...



* this is particularly scary on a bus as whilst standing between seats you can get thrown to the ground if the bus brakes sharply which they often do.  Trying to get a 2 year old to understand that is like talking to the wall and when a bus is very empty like it is that early in the morning, there are too many seats to choose between...